Romantic Comedies aren’t Brainwashing us Afterall

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You know the story. A gorgeous girl just can’t seem to find the right guy because she’s too picky, too awkward, too damaged, or too…you get the idea. Then her best friend/ big crush/ handsome stranger makes her realize love conquers all or that love at first sight does exist or some other cliche romantic epiphany and they live happily ever after. Whether or not we love to hate or hate to love these movies, one thing is for certain. We just can’t stop watching them.

But not to fear, it turns out that an addiction to rom-coms won’t turn our brains into a pile of unrealistic, romantic mush after all, according to a recent study published in the National Communication Association’s journal Communication Monographs.

A survey of 300 college students found that there’s no correlation between watching romantic comedies and a belief in themes like love at first sight, love conquering all and soul mates. Although, if the reason one watches a rom-com is to learn about relationships or get relationship advice (not a good idea, folks) the person is much more likely to believe in those themes.

Bottom line: Even though we know that Ryan Reynolds is never going risk jail time to save us from deportation, pull up to our apartment in a limo blasting opera music, chase us down on his motorcycle in the middle of a bridge, dump his fiance the day of his wedding to stop us from marrying a man we didn’t love, and give us our first kiss in the middle of a baseball field, we’re still going to fantasize about it.

More From Fit, Fab, Fearless:

Social Media Makeovers: What’s Your Online Image?

Study: Less White Lies Leads to a Healthier You

In the News: Do You Have FOMO?

Social Media Makeovers: What’s YOUR Online Image?

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Here is my second post from “Becoming Fearless” at the Huffington Post! Hope you can take something positive from my experience…

Most young adults looking for jobs or just trying to keep a decent reputation are scared of social media biting them in the ass. They change their Facebook names to their nicknames, stop accepting friend requests from people they’ve never met, lock down their privacy settings, and of course un-tag photos from last week’s keg race.

I rarely hear from people who have knowingly lost a job or opportunity because of a status update, tweet, or profile picture. But take it from someone who learned the hard way: The fear of social media coming back to bite you should not be taken with a grain of salt. In fact, if you don’t react to this fear, you might get kicked out of Germany. Well, at least that’s what happened to me….

During my junior year of college, a friend of mine told me about an organization that sends students to military bases all over the world to help with summer camps for military children. Let’s call it Camp Shmadventure.

This seemed like my perfect opportunity to cheaply travel all over Europe, since my living and flight expenses would be covered and I would even receive a stipend for working on the base. Unfortunately, the cash came with a hefty load of rules, which included no more than one alcoholic beverage per hour, no shots, no drinking if you were under 21, and a curfew. Although these rules seemed a little strict, what I heard from the program’s veterans sounded like there was something of a “don’t ask, don’t tell” policy when it came to breaking the rules in the name of fun. Lucky for me, I was turning 21 my first weekend in Germany and planned to celebrate it just as I would in the U.S. And I did.

A couple weeks later, I uploaded pictures from my German birthday bash onto Facebook. They included a picture of me holding an empty shot glass while standing next to a friend, another of me gripping a beer mug, and a photo of me asleep with a laptop on my stomach (I was mid-Skype session). I assumed all of my 800-plus “friends” on Facebook had my best interests in mind and would be thrilled to see that I’d celebrated my 21st to the full extent. What I didn’t know was that one of those 800 “friends” worked for Camp Shmadventure. Oops.

To sum up the aftermath, four days later I was on a plane headed back to the U.S. with my friend and fellow camp counselor (the one in the shot picture) by my side. Just three weeks into my three-month trip I had successfully used social media to screw up my (and my friend’s) entire summer.

While it sucks that I missed out on the trip of a lifetime, I think I may have saved myself from worse consequences in the future. Due to this lesson in social media discretion, I deleted over half of my “friends,” limited my privacy settings, and cleaned up my online image. I’d like to think that my social media makeover will keep my future boss(es) from thinking less of me — especially since employers aren’t afraid of digging into your social media pages to find out more about you (according to my friend who worked for a recruiting company).

Although it feels wrong to write about something you should be afraid of on a page that’s dedicated to overcoming fear, I think having anxiety about your online image is a good thing. Hopefully, it encourages you to put your best self forward when posting a status update, tweeting, and of course uploading pictures.

–Ashley Oerman

Study: Less White Lies Leads to Healthier You

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Everyone has that friend who never fails to give you a straight-up answer. Whether you’re asking about your outfit or your eyebrows, she’s the only one to tell you to tweek both. Though her honesty makes you want to punch her in the boob, she may be healthier because of it, according to a study by the American Psychological Association.

The “Science of Honesty” study found that Americans (who often lie an average of 11 times per week) had improved physical and mental health after getting honest. Scientists asked half of the 110 people studied to stop lying for 10 weeks and observed their overall physical and mental well-being.

The “no-lie” group had a decrease in complaints about feeling stressed or bored. At the same time, the truth-tellers reported less physical ailments such as headaches and sore throats.What’s another benefit of telling it like it is? Surprisingly, non-liars saw improvements in close personal relationships.

Bottom line: Telling fewer lies may save you headaches and stress but don’t blame me if you get backhanded for telling your friend she looks like crap.

–Ashley Oerman

Produce, Even the Good Stuff Has a Dark Side

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Like anyone trying to lose weight, I thought fruits and vegetables were fair game to binge on. I was wrong. Loyola University Health System told Science Daily that you can O.D. on produce just like potato chips.

So what’s a girl to do? Registered dietitian Brooke Schantz said the best way to combat the bulge is by remembering that overall weight loss depends on calories in vs. calories out, not just what kind of foods your eating.

However, don’t ditch the produce aisle just yet. Non-starchy vegetables such as cucumbers, celery, and broccoli are perfect for snacking because they contain tons of h2o and fiber to keep you full. Check out this list of veggies (by the Mayo clinic) that will keep you satisfied without tipping the scale.

Bottom Line: Fruits and vegetables pack loads of nutrients that your body needs but just like any other food you should chow in moderation.

–Ashley Oerman

10 Fearless Ways To Escape Post-Grad Purgatory

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Being a graduate can be exhausting!

I’m so excited to be a contributor to the Huffigton “Becoming Fearless” section! Check out my first post at 
http://huff.to/NmP3EX
 or read it here!

You know that saying about how you don’t know what you have until it’s gone? That phrase in no way applies to my college experience. During my senior year, which ended just two short months ago, I embraced every football tailgate, Tuesday night TV marathon spent squished between my best friends in our tiny living room, and dollar you-call-it specials at the dirtiest bar in Iowa City. Then it was over.

Today, I find myself in a strange place called post-grad purgatory. It’s somewhere between the glory days of college and the mysterious working world. If you’re not familiar with this situation, here is what it looks like. Typically, this place appears to be your parents’ house and is occupied by roommates called Mom and Dad. The good news is that your stay is usually all-inclusive and sometimes includes laundry services, if you’re lucky. The bad news is that your college friends don’t live here and you endure the torture of answering “So, what’s next for you?” or “Have you found a job yet?” countless times while simultaneously facing endless rejection from 90 percent of the jobs you apply for. The worst part is it’s up to you to get yourself out. Scared yet?

I’m no expert — actually, I don’t even have a job yet — but I have come up with 10 great ways to empower yourself during one of the most powerless points in your life. At the very least, these activities should keep you occupied and get you ready for the real world (whenever you get there).

1. Catch up with your friends from high school. It might surprise you how easy it is to start where you left off. Also, some of them are bound to be in the same in-between mess you’re in, which will make you feel less alone.

2. While you’re at it, soak up as much parental love as you can. Although it may not seem like it, you’re going to be on your own soon and won’t have your dad’s stupid jokes or your mom’s cookies around. So try to get as much as possible. You’ll miss it.

3. You may already know this, but you gain more than a degree after graduating college (hint: step on the scale). Spend some time away from your endless job search by hitting the gym. The endorphins you get from a solid work out might just be enough to keep you from pulling your hair out while re-writing your resume for the 100th time.

4. Now that you’re away from the hectic college life, slow down and think about what you really want to do with your life. Maybe you pictured yourself working for a large corporation because of the big money but now have second thoughts about working for The Man. Use this time to think about what’s important to you.

5. After thinking a little about what you want to do, it’s important to think about where you could live. Have you been dying to break into a big city? Want to stay close to family and friends? Keeping these things in mind while you job search will help you limit the choices and make the search less intimidating.

6. An editor once told me, “Once you start working, you never stop.” So why not use this intermission to take a trip? Go camping, take a road trip, or visit friends in other cities. This is a great way to take advantage of your “vacation time” before you have to put in for it at work.

7. Remember that professor who said, “Let me know if you ever need anything”? Now is the time to get in touch. Tell them what you’re up to, what kind of job you’re looking for, what problems you’re running into, etc. Professors have all sorts of contacts who might hire you — or at least help you get hired.

8. So maybe you have college degree, but that doesn’t mean you’re above waiting tables or tending a bar. Find a job that will help you save up for impending student loans or that great apartment you’ve been dreaming of. You’ll be glad you had a little extra saved when the bills start rolling in.

9. Read a book. Seriously, when is the last time you read a book that you actually wanted to read? I thought so.

10. After a few months of living the purgatory life, you might think, “Hey, this isn’t too bad. Maybe I’ll just stay here forever.” Think again. Try not to get too comfortable and keep your eye on the prize. With a little luck and a lot of hard work, you’ll weasel your way out of the post-grad period and into dream job heaven. Don’t forget to thank your “roommates” when you leave.

Are You a Sleepwalker? Study: Sleepwalking is common

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Where were you last night?

I have this friend, let’s call her “Erika,” who had a sleepwalking problem a couple of years ago. Sometimes, after coming home from a night out, Erika would leave her bed, find a more suitable room, put on the occupant’s pajama bottoms, crawl into their bed, and pass out.

According to a study published in the medical journal  Neurology, Erika is among the 3.6 percent (or over 8.4 million) of American adults who end up in unexpected places in the middle of the night.

So what causes millions of people to act like this mid-slumber? It starts with “arousal from non-REM sleep”–which is the stage when your body repairs many of it’s tissues and occurs right before you fall into a much deeper or rapid eye movement sleep. The study says a number of medical issues like alcohol abuse, depression, and OCD could trigger the disorder but there are no known causes.

More fun facts about sleepwalking:

  • A majority of sleepwalkers surveyed said they had been sleepwalking for the past five years.
  • Sleeping pills increase your risk of sleepwalking.
  • About one-third of sleepwalkers have a family history.

–Ashley Oerman

In The News: Do You Have FOMO?

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  1. Do you avoid checking your Facebook news feed on Monday because you skipped out on Friday’s girl’s night?
  2. Does seeing a friend’s Tweet without your name tagged make you cry?
  3. Do you feel the need to create an exciting status when you’re doing something by yourself, even if it’s boring?

If you answered yes to any of the previous questions, you may have FOMO or a fear of missing out. According to in article in the June issue of Women’s Health,  the unofficial disorder is driving women everywhere crazy!

The article says about 70 percent of adults are FOMO-ridden, which makes them concentrate more on the experiences they’re not  having rather than the ones they are (which seem extremely lame compared with your college bestie’s latest FB album).

So how do FOMOs deal with this debilitating disorder?  According to the article they take the following course of action. Step one involves feeling “uncertain, regret, or envy” (this probably hits immediately after seeing a status update that includes a really fun event and excludes you). The second step involves thoughts such as, “Ha. A “Christmas in July” themed bar crawl? Psh. I’m having way more fun reading “Hunger Games.”

Next is the status update on your social media of choice. “Team Gale For Life #BestBookEver #HavingABlast #ILoveMyLife.” According to psychologist Sherry Turkle, Ph.D., people with FOMO have a hard time living up to the “images projected by others” as well as “the images they presented themselves.”

Luckily, there’s an upside to this disorder. It gets you excited to do something great with your life!

Helpful Hint: If you’re feeling low from a bad case of FOMO, try to remember you’re only seeing the best part of someone’s life via social media, one expert in the article suggests.

Also (as someone who had a nasty time with FOMO this time last year) try looking through your own FB albums and updates. Your life looks pretty great onscreen too!

–Ashley Oerman

Newest Weight Loss Tool: Diet Goggles

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Since graduating about a month ago, I’ve had to shed my “college student” status. Now, I’m trying to lose the 5 to 8 lbs that came with the title. Luckily, with technology’s great advancements it shouldn’t be too hard.

Exhibit A, Japan’s “diet glasses.” Basically, these bad boys enlarge the image of what you’re eating and leave your hands the same size. According to the University of Tokyo, people who used the goggles ate 10 percent less when the food they were eating was magnified by 50 percent.

Exhibit B, Smell-o-vision. The same company is developing another type of wearable device that tricks people into thinking the food they’re eating is tastier than it is. An article by AFP says users can change the settings on the device to make their food taste like a strawberry or chocolate cookie.

–Ashley Oerman

What Mr. Nice Guy and Mr. Porsche-Driver Have in Common

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This may not come as a surprise but it turns out that guys are constantly trying to attract women. A study by The British Journal of Psychology found that men are more likely to become Mr. Nice Guy in the presence of hotties. According to the study, the number of “self-less acts” (i.e. donating money to charity) increased when good-looking ladies were around. These good deeds serve as a way to attract women similar to a “peacock’s tail,” one of the study’s researchers told ScienceDaily.com. Maybe the Salvation Army can use this to their advantage by hiring models to stand around the bell-ringing Santa Clause.

Another study by the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology discovered men who spend money on flashy, expensive items like sports cars are also getting their peacock on. This is especially true for men who want to attract short-term relationships. However, unlike Mr. Nice Guy, women are already on to Mr. Porsche-Driver’s pick up tactics, according to the study. Research revealed that women found men who drive an expensive car more desirable for a date than a man with an economical car. Although, they didn’t  think the Porsche-driver was a smart choice for marriage.

Bottom line: Whether he’s donating to charity or buying a Rolex, it’s probably an effort to attract you.

–Ashley Oerman